Escaping to the countryside is all about reducing the overwhelming pressure of life, getting closer to nature and breaking free from the usual constraints – but one campsite seems to have taken a tougher approach to those looking to relax on a camping holiday.
An extensive list of rules from an anonymous campsite was shared on social media, along with a warning that violating the policies could result in a fine, confiscation of goods or expulsion from the camp.
The photo was shared with the VanLife – United Kingdom Facebook group with Keely Ball, who cheerfully captioned the post: “This is a fun place to be.”
Despite starting on a pleasant note (“we’re glad you’re here”) it soon moves on to seven acts that become less reasonable and more aggressive as they go on.
Guests who encounter problems on site are encouraged to report them “immediately” rather than when they get home – a fair enough request – but are then warned that if the site finds they’ve complained “through a third-party review site”, customers will not be welcomed “back”.
No one in the group is allowed to drink or smoke unless all members of the party are over 18 years of age. There are no exceptions – if anyone is under age, “even a tot”, no one can drink or smoke, with the penalty of expulsion from the site for anyone caught breaking the rules.
The speed of the drivers around the camp will be tackled afterwards, although the sun goes away for another sensible request.
The guidelines ask if people can “see that little dial with numbers on your car’s dashboard” and introduce it as “a wonderful little device called a ‘speedometer'”. Expect a $50 fine for the first speeding offense.
Those hoping for campfires are only allowed to light one between 7pm and 10pm, although they must be no taller than 45cm – “THIS MEANS 45cm, NOT 46CM!!!” written in capital letters – and wood must be bought from the host, or you can “lose your campfire rights”.
And when the campfire is out at 10pm (“absolutely undisturbed”), the rules state “NO NOISE OF ANY KIND”. Fortunately “quiet whispering is allowed and encouraged” and headphones can be used – but only with permission from the campsite.
Curiously, no devices are allowed to be charged – even from portable chargers – on the premises.
The final rule is a strict check-in time, with an unfortunate typo of “11am shout”, with a $5 per minute fee for late leavers.
The list of rules has generated more than 1,000 comments on Facebook, with some speculating that it must be a joke.
Dean Lowin said: “I think prison has less rules!! Do I have to put my hand up if I need the toilet??”. Another user said: “He says nothing against organizing an escape party to tunnel your way out under the barbed wire fence and the gun towers…”